dealing with a passive aggressive mother in law dredging up the past

But she would never admit any of that, so she says the above passive aggressive comment instead.

She might even feel like your differing set of values is a wedge in your relationship. When she feels like you're not accepting any of her advice, however, she feels hurt and ignored. Mama thinks she knows best for you, and she'll hold onto that belief until the day she dies, most likely. Here are eight passive aggressive things moms say to their daughters, and how you can respond to them. But at least it won't result in a blow up fight every time. That doesn't necessarily make it OK in fact, you may have to have a serious chat with her about maybe easing up a bit. In some twisted way, it's only coming from a place of love.

So the next time your mom tosses an annoying comment at you, try to take a deeper look into where it's coming from. It's a way for them to avoid conflict and their own pain, which is pretty much the essence of passive aggressive communication. It can be hard for moms to say the truth, like 'I miss having you around all the time,' so they instead make underhanded critiques about their daughters' life choices. Lisa Brateman, a clinical social worker and family therapist in New York, told the Wall Street Journal that passive aggressive talk is very common among mother-daughter pairs. Although she's never admitted it before, I think she knows that passive aggressive remarks are the things that topple me over the most, because she sure uses them effectively. Our likeness also means we know how to get under each other's skin better than anybody else. We couldn't be more alike we talk the same, we act the same when we're hungry (cranky and unreasonable), and we both get upset about the same stuff. Things get even more interesting if we have comparable personalities - and that's exactly how it is between my mom and me. There's always some kind of drama happening. Mother-daughter relationships never get boring, no matter how old we are.

Dealing with a passive aggressive mother in law dredging up the past